Cricket and Tucker came to Northeast Abyssinian and Somali Rescue (NEAR) as a set. The 7-year-old littermates were extremely bonded, and co-director Kristen Wookey wanted very much to keep them together.
But the siblings were also special needs cats: Cricket had cancer, and Tucker was diabetic. So placing them together was going to be a much trickier proposition.
Eventually, another NEAR member offered to take the female blue Aby mix, giving her “a loving home and a chance for treatment,” Wookey says. As their foster mom, she “had a very hard time” the day that Cricket left for her new home. “In retrospect,” she says, “I may have had a harder time than either cat.”
Love and Friendship, Kitten-Style
We talk a lot about the human–feline bond. It’s important, but so is the feline-to-feline bond. Cats who have these bonds tend to be better adjusted and live longer.
It starts early. Bonding is critical to a kitten’s development, according to Dr. Nicholas Dodman, BVMS, MRCVS. A kitten with an attentive mother grows up confident and secure — he will be a smarter, more balanced kitten, “one that can make its own way in the world.”
Somewhere between 3 and 6 weeks of age, kittens begin focusing less on Mom and more on each other. They begin wrestling and running races together. They sleep together and even go to the litter box together (sometimes they even fall asleep in the litter box together).
In a very real sense, the kittens begin to form their own pride.
This is what I’m seeing with the litter I’m currently working with, where 2 of the kittens have just gone to their forever homes. The 3 left behind were slightly confused at first. Then they regrouped, forming a more tightly knit pride. They now follow each other pretty closely. And if one goes off on his own, he soon scurries back to the others.
That’s why it’s so satisfying to see 2 kittens go to a new home together. They provide each other with company and comfort.
Those of us who work with cats know that they’re far more sociable than they’re given credit for.
“The common stereotype of the cat as an anti-social loner is far from universally true, and in fact, cats generally prefer companionship to solitude,” says the Tree House Humane Society. “Strong emotional bonds are often formed between litter mates and cats that have relied upon each other in the wild.”
These friendships can also form, as human friendships do, from sheer happenstance. It’s possible that 2 completely unrelated cats can come together and become so tightly bonded that your inner mush can’t help cheering.
Phoebe, our fluffy stray, bonded with Circe, our blue Abyssinian kitten, within days of coming here as a foster. I didn’t have the heart to separate them, and their friendship lasted till the end of Circe’s life.
These relationships will sometimes fluctuate, as human relationships do, but they generally remain strong.
A Package Deal
People involved in cat rescue work hard to keep bonded pairs together. There’s this strong sense that the cats have already lost enough — their caretakers, their homes and everything that was familiar to them — without having to lose their best buddies, too.
And if the cats bonded as strays or at a shelter, then it feels as though they really do need each other to survive.
With these loving, lazy felines, it’s hard to tell where 1 kitten ends and the other begins:
That’s not anthropomorphizing them — that’s fact.
“Simply put, 2 cats that will be incomplete without each other are a bonded pair,” says Daniel Quagliozzi of the San Francisco Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals. “In some cases, they are un-adoptable on their own. The pain of being on their own makes their behavior regress, and their life condition take a turn for the worse. Illness, depression and a lack of socialization will soon take over, leaving no inkling of the cats they once were together.”
Sadly, not all rescue groups and shelters have the resources to do this. “Bonded cats are a blessing and joy to foster but frequently difficult and heartbreaking to place,” Wookey remarks.
In Cricket and Tucker’s case, the special needs factor was a big one. The dilemma, as Wookey says, then becomes, “Do we deny both cats a home, or do we break them up so they can be placed in a loving home?”
It’s not exactly Sophie’s Choice, but it’s painful nonetheless and one that cat rescue people must face time and again.