How to Socialize a Shy Dog: An Expert Guide

This article on How to Socialize a Shy Dog was written by Caitlin Crittenden, a professional dog trainer. Additional contributors to this article included a veterinarian, Dr. Pippa Elliott, BVMS, MRCVS, as well as Petful publisher Dave Baker and professional dog walker Melissa Smith.

How to Socialize a Shy Dog: The Importance of Socializing

If you’re wondering if it’s worth it to socialize a shy dog, take it from me: It most definitely is.

Case Study: Mack’s Socialization Journey

• Initial Fears: When I first brought my Border Collie, Mack, home at 1 year old, he was afraid of Asian and African-American men.
• Behavior: Normally friendly, Mack refused to enter the room with these men, growling and darting away if approached.
• Background: Mack had never been abused (Mack had never been abused) and generally loved people.
• Cause: Before living with me, Mack lived with an older white woman in the country. Despite attending doggy daycare, he wasn’t exposed to Asian or African-American men during his first year.

Lack of Socialization

• Issue Identified: Mack’s fear stemmed from a lack of socialization during his early months.
• Progress Made: Over time, Mack warmed up to the men. One of his favorite people now is the same Asian man he initially avoided.

Summary

• Why Socialization Matters: Socializing a shy dog is crucial for their confidence and well-being.
• Upcoming Advice: We’ll provide comprehensive tips on how to socialize a shy dog effectively.

How to Socialize a Shy Dog: Causes for Shyness

When you see a shy rescue dog cowering behind their person, it’s easy to assume the dog was abused in the past. Although abuse is one cause of fear in a dog, shyness can also be caused by one or more of the following:

Genetics

• Inherited Traits: Dogs have inherited personality traits comprising their hormones, brain chemistry, neurological wiring, and more.
• Hardwired Shyness: Shyness in a dog, just like fear and aggression, can be an inherited, hardwired trait.
• Importance of Breeders: The inheritability of temperament traits is one reason it’s so important to buy puppies only from reputable, ethical breeders. A good breeder carefully chooses the parents based on sound health and good temperament — making it less likely that poor genetic traits are passed down to the puppies.

Lack of Socialization

• Developmental Periods: During the first year of life, puppies experience several developmental periods where they learn about the world around them and how to respond to it.
  • The first period takes place before 8 weeks of age, in the neonatal state of development.
  • The next happens at 8–16 weeks of age, and this is one of the most crucial stages, according to many behaviorists.
  • After that, several intermittent fear periods take place, where a puppy further learns what is safe and what to avoid in life.
• Missed Opportunities: These highly sensitive times are crucial for puppy development. It’s not good for puppies to miss out on positive experiences that can help them learn about the world around them and form bonds with humans and other dogs.
• Consequences: A lack of positive interactions with people, other dogs, new environments, noises, sights, and other experiences can lead to shyness and an inability to adapt to new things. Many dogs are genetically prone to shyness and then also aren’t socialized — which makes the problem even worse.

Abuse or Trauma

• Impact of Abuse: Hitting a dog, neglecting a dog, or keeping a dog in a constant state of fear can certainly lead to shyness. The same goes for trauma stemming from incidents such as dog fights or injuries.
• Developmental Timing: If trauma or abuse happens during a key developmental period or fear period, your dog will tend to respond fearfully toward the world around them even more than if the experience happened later in life.
• Compounded Issues: When your dog is already genetically prone to shyness or isn’t socialized while young, abuse or trauma can be especially hard for your dog to overcome.

Why It’s So Important to Socialize Your Dog

With socialization, you teach your dog as early as possible how to behave around other dogs, people, and animals.

Dogs who have been properly socialized have fewer issues with other animals in public. Conversely, animals with little to no socialization can have a difficult time coping with meeting new people and other animals.

“Socializing can help many fearful dogs get past their issues,” says Peggy Swager, author of Rescue Your Dog From Fear. “Conversely, the lack of socializing can create a fearful dog and can lead to behavior issues.”

Three Key Reasons to Socialize Your Dog

1. Anxiety
   • Dogs who have not been socialized (or not socialized enough) often display anxiety when confronted with a new situation, person, or animal.
   • Anxiety can manifest in a variety of ways:
     • Trembling
     • Tail tucked down
     • Hiding
     • Pacing
     • Ears flattened
     • Lip-licking
     • Yawning
   • This is tough to watch happen, particularly when you’re not sure how to help.
2. Aggression
   • Unsocialized dogs may display aggressive tendencies, sometimes with disastrous consequences.
   • To a dog, where they live and who they live with are their possessions, and they will defend them should another animal encroach on their territory. This is hardwired into their DNA.
3. Reactivity
   • Your dog may not display anxious or aggressive behaviors, but they may be difficult to handle.
   • New places and things cause such stimulation that they end up walking you, even on a leash, making them hard to handle at the groomer’s, the vet’s, and any other pet-friendly area.

The best way to avoid these problems? Socialize your dog from a young age.

How Do You Socialize a Dog With a Human?

A dog can be shy around anything, but people are usually the biggest concern since dogs in our society must be able to coexist with people.

Thankfully, you can recruit other dog lovers to help you socialize your dog around people by doing the following training exercises.

Pair People With Treats

If your dog is food-motivated, use that desire for food to help them overcome their fear of people:

• Recruit as many family members, friends, and dog lovers as you can to help you.
• Working one at a time, have someone toss treats to your dog from a distance your dog is comfortable with whenever they’re being quiet or calm. Have the person ignore your dog — other than tossing the treats — while they do this.
• When your dog is completely comfortable with the person at the current distance, have the person toss the treats slightly closer so that your dog must come nearer to them to get the treats. Go slow with this — gauge your dog’s reactions. Avoid encouraging your dog to approach too closely before they feel comfortable to avoid any potential fear biting.
• When your dog willingly goes up to the person, even without the person tossing food to lure them in, the person can have your dog perform commands or tricks and reward them for their obedience with the food.
• Once your dog is comfortable with one person, move on to another friend and have that person practice the same training, starting from the beginning again. Your dog will need to warm up to multiple people gradually to learn that all people are safe.
• In general, you can also offer your dog a treat while they are calm around people they spot in public — walks are common examples of this. Keep enough space between you and the other person for your dog to be successful and remain calm. Keep your attitude calm and confident, too.

Pair People With Fun

Many dogs are not food-motivated, or they are equally motivated by games, walks, and toys.

Pay attention to what your dog loves, what they focus on, and when they relax. You can use other things that your dog loves to help them overcome their fears:

• Use toys in place of treats as a reward for calm behavior around people.
• If your dog loves to play fetch, have a friend play with them, but you be the one to take the ball from your dog and hand it to your friend to throw again until your dog is completely comfortable with the person.
• If your dog enjoys walks, have a friend go on a walk with you. At first, have your friend stay far enough away for your dog to relax around them. Keep the walk structured, and reward your dog for calmness and focus on you. When your dog becomes comfortable around the person at the current distance, decrease the amount of space between your dog and the other person gradually over time. Expect this to take several sessions before the person can walk within 5 feet of your dog.
• If your dog has a canine buddy, let your dog watch the other dog interact with your friend. Have the other dog perform tricks and commands for your friend, play games — like fetch — with them, and go for walks with them while you follow behind with your dog.
• Teach your dog commands like “Say hi” and “Touch.” Practice those commands with people your dog knows and have those people reward your dog heavily for obeying the commands. Once your dog can perform the new commands with friends — and if your dog is only mildly shy — practice the new commands with a calm person your dog does not know. Have the new person stand still and stay calm while your dog performs the command. If your dog has any aggressive tendencies, don’t practice these up-close commands yet.

Manage Interactions

Timid dogs have an even greater need for leadership, and they take many cues on how to behave and feel from the other dogs and people around them.

Providing a shy dog with clear direction, leadership, and protection can help them feel more at ease and prevent fears from becoming worse while you work to address them.

Protect Your Dog from Overwhelming Situations

• Pay careful attention to your dog’s tolerance level. Work at that level, challenging your dog slightly more as they improve.
• Help your dog overcome fears in controlled situations and protect them from scary, uncontrolled situations. For example:
  • If your dog is afraid of people, crowds of kids trying to pet them would be overwhelming.
  • If your dog is afraid of other dogs, a face-to-face encounter with another pooch would probably be too much for them.
• Once your dog improves, avoid the temptation to put them in situations that could undo your hard work. For instance, if your dog used to be afraid of other dogs, avoid going to the dog park where a fight might break out. Instead, pursue calm, controlled interactions with other dogs.

Teach Commands and Provide Direction

• Give your dog direction when they are in uncertain situations. Tune into your dog’s body language; you will often notice a few seconds of indecision happening before your dog reacts fearfully. In those few seconds:
  • Give them a command such as “Heel” or “Watch me.”
  • Turn their attention to something else or help them relax by acting silly and confident yourself. Pull out your best silly dance moves and a fun tune to help your dog feel happy again when things start to get tense.
• Have your dog work for things in life by performing commands before receiving things they want.
• Add more structure to their day by making them:
  • Wait for a meal
  • Wait before exiting an open crate
  • Stay on a dog bed while you leave the room
  • Generally follow house rules

Structure and predictability are important for insecure dogs. “It builds confidence to understand what you’re asking of [the dog], and to understand the consequences,” says Pat Miller, CBCC-KA, CPDT-KA.

How Do You Socialize a Dog With Another Dog?

OK, we’ve talked about how to socialize a dog around other people — now what about socializing a dog around other dogs?

Some pups are fine with people but are shy around other dogs, while others are shy around both.

If you’ve been wondering, “How do you introduce a nervous dog to other dogs?” try the following:

3-Second Interactions

• Short Greetings: Nose-to-nose greetings between dogs should be no longer than 3 seconds, especially while on the leash, where neither dog can get away.
• Avoiding Fights: Anything longer than 3 seconds gives the dogs a chance to get past the initial taking in of information and move on to sizing each other up and competing — which can lead to fights.

Building Confidence

• Gradual Exposure: If your dog is very shy, avoid nose-to-nose greetings at first. Instead, focus on pack walks and practicing obedience with other dogs in sight until your dog’s confidence and relaxation around other dogs improves.
• Selective Greetings: Once your dog is confident enough to meet others nose-to-nose, be careful which dogs you let them meet. Don’t be afraid to be picky and tell well-meaning caretakers of less-than-friendly or overly rambunctious dogs that your dog can’t meet, is in training, or is afraid of other dogs.

Ensuring Safe Interactions

• Protect Your Pet: Protect your pet from potentially dangerous or overwhelming situations that could set back your training efforts. Look for dogs who are calm, friendly, and attentive to their people for your dog to greet.
• Ideal Greeting: A good greeting is relaxed, brief, and mutual — where each dog allows the other to sniff the behind and front. This caution is wise when socializing a puppy, too.

Pack Walks

Pack walks are a great tool in learning how to socialize a shy dog.

• Maintain Distance: Watch your pup carefully and pay attention to the distance they need between them and another dog to remain calm. Go on walks with other people or walking groups, but keep far enough away from others for your dog to stay relaxed.
• Gradual Decrease: After your dog has gone on enough walks with others to be completely relaxed during the walk, gradually decrease the distance between your pup and others. Take it slow, and watch your dog’s body language to gauge the proper distance.
• Focus on You: Keep your dog’s attention on you during these walks. The walks should be structured with your dog in the heel position and focusing on you.
• Rewards for Calmness: If your dog can respond calmly to treats or praise, give them to your dog when they’re acting calm, focusing on you, or heeling.

Practice Obedience With Other Dogs in Sight

When you’re learning how to socialize a shy dog, you need to teach several obedience commands or tricks, such as “Heel,” “Watch me,” and “Sit.”

• Calm Locations: Take your dog to a calm, spacious location, like a local field or park where other dogs are likely to roam on the leash.
• Distance Awareness: Pay attention to your dog’s body language and notice how far another dog needs to be for yours to relax and focus on a treat or toy you have.
• Training in Sight: Once you have determined that distance, work on obedience commands, tricks, or training games with your dog while other dogs are in the background off in the distance. Make the training fun, and try to act upbeat and confident.
• Gradual Proximity: As your dog gets more comfortable around the others, you can practice your training slightly closer to the dogs until yours can eventually work with other dogs close by and remain calm.
• Patience is Key: Expect this to take multiple sessions. Some dogs relax enough to get close in a few weeks, while others can take years if the shyness is severe.

How to Help a Fearful Dog Gain Confidence

Many shy dogs lack confidence in general.

Your dog might be afraid of children, other dogs, strange or loud noises, new places, or something else. Building your dog’s overall confidence can have a huge impact on their ability to adapt to new situations and relax in life.

Below are a few things that can help build your dog’s confidence.

Obedience and Tricks

Shy dogs are typically just as intelligent as other dogs once you get them out of their shells.

• Find Motivation: Try to find what motivates your pup: Do they love food, toys, praise, walks, or swimming? Use the things your dog loves to motivate them during training.
• Be Patient: Be patient and recognize that it might take your dog longer to learn tricks and commands if they feel frightened. You may need to go slow, especially when practicing new commands around other people or animals or in new locations.
• Adapt Training: You may need to adapt the training to make it gentler or more structured for your dog — many shy dogs do well with a lot of structure and clear guidance.
• Build Confidence: The more you teach your dog, the more confident, able to learn, and relaxed they’ll generally become.
• Trust and Respect: Recognize that the training is new for them, so try to believe in their potential to learn and persevere with them. Doing so will also build their trust and respect for you.

Canine Sports

Have a go at trying canine sports with your shy dog. They’re a lot of fun when you find one your dog loves.

• Identify Interests: Is your dog a runner, a herder, a ball fanatic, a swimmer, a jumper, a mover, a groover, a sniffer, or a retriever?
• Confidence Through Fun: There are so many different types of canine sports, and participating in the right one can help your dog become more confident by flooding their brain with wonderful chemicals during the fun. Those feel-good chemicals get associated with the things in the environment that your pup is nervous about, like other dogs or people — helping your dog feel less nervous.
• Stimulation and Exercise: Canine sports also stimulate your dog’s brain, exercise their body, require focus (and a relationship with you), and broaden their experience — all of which can be good for a nervous dog.

“The two of you may never step into the ring for competition, but because of your training, your dog will be happier and more confident, and your bond will strengthen,” says Stephanie Gibeault, CPDT. “And you never know — your anxious dog might blossom into a champion.”

Some canine sports options include:

• Agility
• Canine freestyle dance
• Competition Obedience
• Dock diving
• Duck hunting
• Flyball
• Herding
• Tracking

Check out these dogs competing in flyball, one canine sport that is a great way to help your shy dog build confidence and have fun:

Be a Dependable Leader

Have you ever been in a situation where you wondered, “How do you comfort a scared dog?”

If so, you’re not alone. Many people feel helpless while asking that same question.

Understanding Your Dog’s Needs

The natural tendency is to pet, cuddle, and talk softly to your shy dog. That’s typically the way we humans want to be cared for when we feel afraid. Dogs need something a bit different, though.

• Body Language and Instruction: Your dog looks to your body language, demeanor, and instruction to decide on how to respond in many uncertain situations. What they need most from you is clear direction, confidence, and help focusing on something other than their fears.
• Change the Mood: If they start to worry about another dog down the street, then instead of comforting them, break out into song and dance and get them excited about the experience. You might feel silly, but watch as your dog’s body language changes from tense to happy and relaxed.

Setting Boundaries and Rules

• Clear Boundaries: As a leader, put clear boundaries and rules in place for your dog. Be consistent and enforce the rules.
• Increasing Independence: Work on increasing their independence with “Place,” “Stay,” and distance commands. Give your dog opportunities to work through their fears in an environment with enough structure and control that they can succeed.
• Rewarding Success: It can be hard to watch your restless dog hold a “Stay” when they don’t want to, but let them learn that they can — and then calmly reward them when they succeed.

Building Confidence

• Believe in Your Dog: Believe in your dog and help them succeed. Consistent leadership and positive reinforcement can make a significant difference in their confidence and behavior.

Handling and Body Language Awareness

Understanding and correctly interpreting your dog’s body language is crucial in managing their behavior and ensuring their comfort. Dogs communicate primarily through their body language, and recognizing the signs of stress, fear, and relaxation can help you respond appropriately and support your dog’s needs.

Importance of Reading Dog Body Language

Dogs use their bodies to express a wide range of emotions and intentions. Key signals to watch for include:

• Stiff Body: Indicates alertness or potential aggression.
• Yawning: Often a sign of stress, not tiredness.
• Lip Licking: Another common stress signal.
• Tucked Tail: Shows fear or submission.
• Raised Hackles: Can indicate fear, anxiety, or aggression.
• Avoiding Eye Contact: A sign of submission or fear.

Tips on Gentle Handling

1. Approach Calmly: Always approach your dog calmly and avoid sudden movements that might startle them.
2. Respect Personal Space: Some dogs may feel threatened if approached too closely. Allow your dog to come to you.
3. Use Soft Tones: Speak in a gentle, soothing voice to reassure your dog.
4. Avoid Overhandling: Handle your dog as little as necessary when they are stressed. Too much touching can increase their anxiety.
5. Positive Reinforcement: Reward your dog with treats and praise for calm behavior during handling sessions.

Recognizing Stress Signals

Being able to identify and respond to your dog’s stress signals is essential for their well-being:

• Excessive Salivation: Can be a sign of anxiety.
• Shivering: Indicates fear or cold.
• Submissive Posture: Lowered body, ears back, and avoiding eye contact.
• Panting: Not related to temperature or exercise, but a sign of stress.

When you see these signs, it’s important to give your dog space and time to relax. Forcing interaction can worsen their anxiety and lead to fear-based reactions.

Socialization Don’t’s

When working on socialization training with your puppy, it’s important to avoid certain behaviors that can hinder their progress and trust in you.

What Not to Do

• Don’t Strike, Scream, or Yell: Avoid intimidating your puppy. By doing so, you’re simply teaching them not to trust you and to be afraid of you.
• Don’t Force New Situations: Don’t push your puppy into new situations before they’re ready. Some dogs will take to socialization quickly, while others need more time with each experience to feel comfortable. Proceed at your dog’s pace.
• Don’t Ignore Warning Signs: Pay attention to warning signs such as excessive salivation, shivering, and submissive posture. These indicators show that your dog has had enough and needs a break.

Expert Advice

Dog trainer Mary Belle Brazil-Adelman, PhD, advises:

“Present each new learning experience in a positive manner that will be easy for the young dog to learn, and you will have an adult dog that can face each new challenge with strength, determination, and confidence.”

Final Thoughts on How to Socialize a Shy Dog

Once you’ve successfully introduced your dog to friends, other pets, and children, keep that momentum going.

• Group Classes: Enroll in group dog training classes.
• Local Dog Park: Spend time at your local dog park.
• New Experiences: Take your dog with you on trips to new places.

Always reward your dog for positive behavior and never punish them for being afraid of a new situation.

Key Takeaways

• Work Through Fears: Take time to help your pet work through fears around people with the help of others.
• Positive Associations: Give your dog opportunities to develop good associations with other dogs while protecting them from scary or overwhelming situations.
• Build Confidence: Work on building your dog’s overall confidence through training, canine sports, boundaries, and clear leadership.

Undoing years of possible poor socialization can be difficult. Depending on the kind of life your dog lived before adoption, these steps may take days, weeks, or months.

Most of all, remember to be patient and calm while teaching your dog to overcome fears. Socialization takes time, but with the right mindset, you and your dog can achieve great results.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)

References

1. Coren, Stanley, PhD, DSc, FRSC. “Why Are Some Dogs So Anxious and Fearful?” Psychology Today. Nov. 1, 2011. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/canine-corner/201111/why-are-some-dogs-so-anxious-and-fearful.
2. Zapata, Isain, PhD, et al. “Genetic Mapping of Canine Fear and Aggression.” BMC Genomics 17, no. 572 (Aug. 8, 2016). https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4977763/.
3. Mcmillan, Franklin D., DVM, et al. “Behavioral and Psychological Characteristics of Canine Victims of Abuse.” Journal of Applied Animal Welfare Science 18, no. 1 (September 2014): 1–20. https://www.researchgate.net/publication/266243383_Behavioral_and_Psychological_Characteristics_of_Canine_Victims_of_Abuse.
4. Swager, Peggy O. Rescue Your Dog From Fear: Tried-and-True Techniques to Help Your Dog Feel Secure. Rowman & Littlefield. 2015. 25.
5. Miller, Pat, CBCC-KA, CPDT-KA. “Building Your Dog’s Confidence Up.” Whole Dog Journal. September 2011. https://www.whole-dog-journal.com/issues/14_9/features/Helping-Timid-Dogs_20348-1.html.
6. Berns, Gregory S., PhD, MD, et al. “Replicability and Heterogeneity of Awake Unrestrained Canine fMRI Responses.” PLoS ONE 8, no. 12 (Dec. 4, 2013): e98421. https://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0098421.
7. Gibeault, Stephanie, CPDT. “Agility Training Is Great for Anxious Dogs.” American Kennel Club. Jan. 3, 2018. https://www.akc.org/expert-advice/training/agility-training-great-anxious-dogs/.
8. Brazil-Adelman, Mary Belle, PhD. The German Shepherd Dog Handbook. B.E.S. Publishing. 2010.
9. “Help your anxious or fearful dog gain confidence.” Animal Humane Society. https://www.animalhumanesociety.org/resource/help-your-anxious-or-fearful-dog-gain-confidence.