Is your cat shy or fearful around people?
This behavior is more common than you might think. Each cat has a unique personality, so some will be quite social and playful while others simply want to be alone.
In this article, I’ll share some information and resources to help your shy cat come out of her shell.
Common Reasons for Shyness: Why Are Cats Shy Around People?
The first thing you need to understand is why your cat is afraid of being with people.
Although the reasons can vary, one of the most common reasons for cats being shy around people is if she didn’t have enough socialization as a kitten. If a kitten interacted with few people when she was young, she may end up being shy around people.
Of course it’s also possible that a cat who met plenty of people while young will be afraid of certain types of people that she wasn’t exposed to — say, for example, men or tall people. Other cats will suddenly start showing fearful behavior thanks to a medical problem. If you think this is the case, see your veterinarian.
Daddy Issues?
What makes a cat/kitten shy? Here’s another interesting possibility …
In October 1995, animal behaviorist Sandra McCune published a study that may shed some badly needed light on the subject.
She divided some kittens into 2 groups: those whose fathers were friendly, and those whose fathers tended to be shy and were never seen by the kittens.
Over time, McCune noticed that the cats who had friendly fathers “were quicker to approach, touch and rub a test person, were more vocal and spent a greater total time [with] them.”
The “friendly-fathered cats” were also far less likely to become anxious or distressed when approached and handled by unfamiliar people.
John Bradshaw of the Anthrozoology Institute at the University of Bristol points out that “given enough handling, these shy kittens could turn out just as friendly as the kitten with the bold father — though, as expected, they tended to show their friendliness in a less ‘pushy’ way.”
Fine Lines of Feline Distinction: Is Your Cat Shy or Feral?
Not all cats who act shy are shy. Sometimes they’re feral.
“It’s important to note the difference between a shy cat and a feral cat,” notes Dr. Karen Becker, DVM. “Feral cats are either born wild or have adapted to feral life after being lost or abandoned.”
Some ferals do become indoor pets, but by and large, “their instincts drive them to avoid human interaction,” she says.
Other Factors That May Make Cats Shy Around People:
- A cat who has been abused will act differently than a shy cat. “The cats I have come across that were abused or neglected got aggressive instead,” says Susan Graham, who works with several rescue organizations.
- Cats who appear shy at shelters aren’t necessarily shy by nature. “The experience of being in a shelter can make the most outgoing kitty temporarily wary and fearful,” Dr. Becker observes.
Preventing Fearfulness in Your Kitten
The best way to prevent your cat from becoming fearful is to take steps during the kitten stage. Introduce your kitten to a wide variety of people — varying sizes, races, genders and ages. Prevention is not always possible, such as in the case of rescuing a street cat.
With indoor cats you won’t be taking your cat out to socialize — but instead you should invite people over for a meet-and-greet.
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Go Slow
You don’t want to burden your kitten with new interactions as this will make the problem worse. If you adopt a new cat, and she is afraid of everyone, take baby steps to get her used to you. This means interacting with her several times a day for 15 to 20 minutes. Let her have a room all to herself so she can get comfortable without loud interruptions or people coming in and going out.
Giving her a chance to come to terms with one area of the home that is quiet is the ideal way to getting her happier and more social. Also, if she is only afraid of strangers, never force her to meet them. Instead, let her choose the pace — but try to encourage her interactions.
In the video below, a behavior specialist from the Charlottesville SPCA offers a few more tips:
Prepare for the Visit
If you know someone is coming over and you want your cat to interact with him despite your cat’s fear, take small steps to prepare. Try shutting some doors so the cat has limited spaces to go (but be sure there is at least one place to hide where she will feel safe).
Also try to provide cat furniture, shelves or a window perch from which she can watch the visitor from at a safe distance. In addition, certain scents are designed to soothe cats.
Treats and Rewards
Use treats and other forms of rewards such as a favorite toy. If your cat is hiding, for example, throw one of her favorite balls. If she gets close enough, you can try tempting her with the toy or a treat. When your cat gets brave enough to get within a few feet of the stranger, ask him to try tossing a treat or toy to help gain trust.
Breaking Through
With proper handling, the shy ones come around. So, if you’re wondering, “will a shy kitten always be shy?” There is hope for them, especially if you take the time and effort to help socialize them.
Routine is important. This shows a hesitant, unsure-of-herself feline what to expect and goes a long way toward helping her feel comfortable with you. One of my friends has an extremely timid cat named Alice who loves being brushed. So that has become part of their morning routine.
Start small. “Don’t overwhelm them at first,” cautions Graham. “Give them time.” They need that time to get used to you and “learn you won’t hurt them.”
Cote gets all that. She would adopt another “shy cat in a heartbeat” and encourages her friends to do likewise. “Once they find a human that they’re not fearful of and who shows them love, they’re going to give it back 110%.”
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)
How Long Does it Take a Shy Cat to Trust You?
The time it takes for a shy cat to trust you can range from a few days to several months or possibly longer, depending on the cat’s personality and past experiences. Patience, consistency, and a gentle approach are important.
Why is My Cat Shy Around Strangers?
Your cat may be shy around strangers because of a combination of their personality, level of socialization, or past experiences. Some cats experience more anxiety and fear than others. If your cat wasn’t exposed to a lot of people as a kitten, they might find new people scary. Additionally, negative interactions with people in the past can strengthen their fear.
How to Get Shy Cats to Like You
It can take time to get a shy cat to like you, as there’s not one concrete formula for how to earn a cats trust. Creating a calm environment where the cat can feel secure and has a space to hide, as well as avoiding sudden movements and loud noises can help. Try using treats and positive interactions to build trust, and pay attention to their body language. Above all, be patient and gentle, allowing the cat to approach you on their own terms.
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Writer T.J. Banks contributed to this article.
