Holding Pet Funeral Services: Honoring Deceased Pets at Home

This pet health content was written by a veterinarian, Dr. Debora Lichtenberg, VMD. It was reviewed for accuracy by Dr. Pippa Elliott, BVMS, MRCVS, and was last updated on August 9, 2024

The Importance of Pet Funeral Services for Surviving Pets

Following my euthanasia article a few weeks ago, an animal rescuer -- and a good client of mine -- suggested that I mention giving your pet a wake as part of pet funeral services for the benefit of the surviving animals at home.

I always do this. Everyone needs closure -- even the animals still living at home. And how can we understand what's going through their minds when one of their own suddenly disappears? Key benefits of holding pet funeral services:

• Provides closure: Helps surviving pets understand the absence of their companion.
• Eases the transition: Allows pets to adjust to changes in the household.
• Promotes emotional healing: Supports both pets and owners in their grieving process.

"After humane euthanasia," my client said, "I brought both Apples and Charlie back home, placed their bodies on blankets, and had wakes for each of them. The surviving dogs were able to sniff, poke, howl, and know that this family member was gone. It was a bit more work for me, but it felt like a gift of understanding the changes in the household and, as it turned out, it was for all of us.”

So well stated. And I can relate, after having adopted more than 20 animals -- sometimes geriatric -- over the years. I've held about 15 wakes at home.

Preparing in Advance for Pet Funeral Services

Let’s talk logistics first: If your pet is euthanized in the veterinary hospital, are you prepared to bring your deceased friend back home to hold the wake as part of pet funeral services? Do you want to take a large dog home after euthanasia, have a funeral, and then possibly bring the body back to the hospital for cremation? This requires planning and manpower.

Considerations when planning pet funeral services:

• Logistics: Ensure you have a plan for transporting your pet's body.
• Manpower: Arrange for help, especially if you have a large pet.
• Emotional readiness: Be prepared for the emotional toll of handling your pet's remains.

The process can also be highly disturbing for some folks. You are dealing with a dead body and all the fluids associated with the end of life. Many adult clients have told me the death of a pet is the closest they themselves have been to death. My suggestion is to arrange a lot of help if you are going to be your own funeral director.

If you plan a euthanasia, contact your veterinarian and express your wishes. We can have blankets ready as well as manpower to help you in and out of car or home euthanasia. We can be your funeral directors so you can simply grieve.

Understanding What the Animals Think During Pet Funeral Services

If you hold a pet funeral as part of your pet funeral services, don't be surprised at anything the surviving pets might do around the body. They could grieve, cry, or sniff incessantly. Or they might just walk away.

Common reactions of surviving pets during pet funeral services:

• Grieving: Pets may cry, whine, or display signs of mourning.
• Sniffing: Surviving pets might sniff the body as part of their understanding.
• Withdrawal: Some pets might simply walk away, showing indifference or confusion.

I believe animals have an intense emotional life, far more complicated than acknowledged. It's not uncommon for bonded animals to stay by the body or roam the house for days after their partner dies, looking confused.

Even before death, when an animal in the house is very ill, his dog and cat friends know something is up. They can shun the sick pet or be more attentive. They may even “pick on” a friend who is under the weather. They are reacting to a household change, and we are not anthropomorphizing when we acknowledge their rich lives and responses.

Next Step: Burial or Cremation in Pet Funeral Services

Thirty minutes or less is a good time interval to “wake” your pet. Be sure to have the next step for burial or cremation prearranged. Considerations for planning pet funeral services: Timing: Limit the wake to 30 minutes or less.

• Preparation: Prearrange burial or cremation plans with your vet.
• Veterinary assistance: Vets can help with transport and final arrangements.
• Vets can help in various ways:
• Post-euthanasia support: Staying at your home so everyone can say goodbye.
• Transportation: Bringing the body back to the hospital for final arrangements.
• Home burials: Ensuring there is adequate help for a home burial.

Some strange things have occurred over the years. Once, after a home euthanasia, I started to wrap the deceased cat in her blanket, and the client stopped me with a strong hand. “The spirit has not yet left the body,” she said calmly. Respecting her wishes, I stayed in a corner until the time seemed right.

Another time, I went to a house full of living cats and a lovely geriatric woman. We humanely euthanized her 18-year-old cat on the kitty’s favorite chair, and all went well. Afterward, I wanted to help this frail, older woman with final arrangements. “Oh no, dear,” she said. “That’s her chair. You just leave her right there where she belongs.”

The next day, I contacted a family member who had helped with the burial. Without that help, I think the cat would have stayed on the chair indefinitely.

Final Thoughts on Pet Funeral Services

Never discount your emotions or those of your surviving pets during this difficult time. For those with multiple pets, the survivors can be a great help and comfort. Coping with pet loss:

• Lean on your surviving pets: They can provide emotional support.
• Consider a new pet: If you've lost your one and only pet, giving your love to a new pet when the time feels right can be healing.

If you have lost your one and only, I strongly advocate giving your love to a new pet as soon as it seems right. For me, the “right” time is usually very soon.