Pickup lines are a topic I find wildly entertaining. Some of the lines we’ve read about (bad) or been subjected to (worse!) over the years have run the gamut from laugh-out-loud hilarious to straight-up offensive.
Granted, quite a bit depends on both the delivery of the lines and the sincerity of the person saying them. But sometimes you just can’t hide the ridiculousness.
In the spirit of good fun, here are some tongue-in-cheek pickup lines you could try (but probably shouldn’t) on the girl of your dreams while she’s out walking her dog.
1. “That dog is beautiful! I see she takes after her person.”
Now, this one from eHarmony you might want to make more personalized. Use the breed of the dog to show off your doggie intelligence: “That Golden Retriever / German Shepherd / husky…”
The hard part is making sure you actually know what breed the dog is. If you say, “That Samoyed is beautiful, just like you,” just be sure the dog is actually a Samoyed.
2. “I’ll be your Tramp if you’ll be my Lady.”
This will work only if the object of your interest is an avid Disney fan, as Lady and the Tramp was released more than 50 years ago. Although it was rereleased and remastered in 2006, this movie is still well out of date.
Using the word “tramp” nowadays is more likely than not to get you a fist to the eye — or a dog bite to your posterior. I recommend going for this one only if your girl is covered from head to toe in Disney gear.
3. “That’s a beautiful dog. Does she have a phone number?”
Nothing like the direct approach, am I right?
You could be wildly lucky and speak with a girl who responds enthusiastically to your query and hands over her phone number instantly.
A better approach, though, may be to slip this line in after you have introduced yourself and made small talk.
4. “My dog is humping your dog — it’s fate!”
The critical thing to remember is that any girl seeing her dog in such a delicate position is probably not going to be very pleased.
For one, her dog is being (as she may see it) violated. For another, you’re not obeying the leash laws. One more strike and you’re out.
It will be a real challenge to use this line and have it be successful. I recommend using it only if she seems receptive to a giggle after you have safely separated (and leashed) your dog from hers. Being able to turn a negative situation into a positive one and make her laugh should be your goal.
5. “Is that your dog’s tail wagging, or are you just happy to see me?”
She might be happy to see you, sure. But if she doesn’t know you, this one is guaranteed to get you an eye roll and possibly a hand gesture of the non-friendly variety.
Used properly, this line actually is funny because it’s such a throwback to the 1970s and ’80s. It’s retro, baby.
6. “Girl, you are so fetch!”
Um… like a stick?
If you can pull this line off, you’re a master, and I bow down to you. It can be done, but you must have confidence. Full-on eye contact, good body language and a strong voice just might make this work.
Someone actually said something to me along these lines before, and I laughed myself into a hernia.
7. “We should get our dogs together for a playdate.”
This definitely won’t work if you say it improperly, like with a big “Hey baby” leer or a suggestive wink. But when you say it sincerely, this is a great way to get to know someone better with a doggie playdate.
If your dogs are trying to get off their leashes and sink their teeth into each other, they have probably decided not to be bosom buddies — and you will need to come up with something else. Please, not the fetch line!
Do Pickup Lines Like This Really Work?
Hmm, well, there are a lot of variables to consider. Body language, eye contact and a good sense of humor are all important.
But the best way to meet someone is to just be sincere:
- DON’T say something that isn’t your style.
- DO be honestly interested.
Going to the dog park without a dog is super creepy. Don’t be this guy:
The thing about a pickup line is that it almost always sounds exactly like, well, a pickup line. Sincerity and honesty will get you much farther than some cheesy line.