Pushing things around. Figuring out how cupboards open and what inside is (a) edible or (b) makes a good toy.
Acquiring things. Your jewelry, for instance. Erasers and paper clips have their good points, too.
Figuring out how to outmaneuver you.
Fitting all the pieces in your schedule together.
A curious biped.
The one with all the answers — and the can opener.
Someone who can supply them with life’s essentials — food, toys and really nice cat trees.
Someone they can get a rise out of by using your small (and valuable) collectibles for batting practice.
An easy mark.
When your cat gets together with friends, they:
See who knocks the most things onto the floor. Winner gets a shot at those antique glass candlesticks with all the dangling prisms.
Play charades and mimic humans.
Sit around and brag about who has the best cat toys.
Watch “Leverage” reruns and discuss out they can adapt/catify the plots to mess with you.
Imagine what you do when you’re away from home. (This is where the phrase “Enough to make a cat laugh” comes into play.)
In a previous life, your cat was:
A street magician doing sleight-of-hand tricks.
The best con artist ever — or Machiavelli. (This one’s a close call.)
A shady banker or a shady real estate agent — take your pick.
An engineer or a big-picture ad executive.
A detective or a really nosy neighbor.
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